For the love of a bargain
When most of us make a purchase worth getting excited about it's generally something to wear, comes wrapped in a crisp paper bag and is followed by an even crisper credit card bill. And of course it's also tagged with the often repeated justification that said acquisition had to be made, not because it was a flagrant kid-in-a-candy-store 'kerching!' moment but a) because it was an "investment" and b) because it was a "bargain".
Honestly, who are we trying to kid? I wish I could be confident that the Fleur Wood frock I splashed out on last month will appreciate in value and allow me a first step onto some kind of sartorial property ladder, but, as my grandmother (almost) said, "If wishes were horses we'd all win trifectas on every race at Flemington."
As for the classic bargain delusion ("It was $700 but I got it half price at a designer warehouse sale so I'm actually saving myself money!), well, we all know how much baloney that is. For some of us, like Solly Lew, fashion purchases come in much bigger parcels and do in fact represent both a bargain and an investment, like Just Group, which has finally succumbed to his advances and was, let's face it, cheap at the price.
But if you don't have Solly's financial might but do possess a special skill, you can always count on winning some shopping money and not having to worry about bargains at all, like four hundred metre hurdler Brittney McGlone, who pocketed $US5000 ($A5985) for coming first in a stiletto sprint in Sydney recently.
Yes you read right readers, a stiletto sprint is an actual thing, and no, I'm not talking about the rush for show bags at fashion week. This was an orchestrated event... (Who thinks up these things? Some sadistic bloke probably.) Contestants in the race - which took place on an 80 metre track at Circular Quay - wore mandatory three-inch high-heels, with former Australian sprinter Melinda Gainsford-Taylor charged with inspecting athletes' footwear.
Apparently she also checked their legs to see if they were smooth (as in hair-free), although whether this was in the interests of grooming, aerodynamics or something more peculiar is unclear. With 265 ladies foolish enough to agree to this abomination of everything that high heels stand for, the event was pronounced a world record for the largest number of people ever to participate in a stiletto sprint, having dramatically outstripped the previous record of 150 contestants.
Chris Sheedy, the Australian representative for the Guinness World Records said Australia had "smashed" the current world record and now held the title. Something tells me Australia is not dealing overly well with the fact that it didn't take home all the goodies at the Olympics, but maybe that's just the cynic in me talking. Perhaps excelling at high heeled sprints is an important life skill and should even be encouraged in schools. Gucci knows, it would be handy come sale season.
By Kat Walker