Staying alive?

What is it with glitter balls? Throughout the 'noughties' disco fever seems to have spread with the alarming rapidity of SARS in a Hong Kong underground and now it has infiltrated that bastion of all that was hitherto un-disco; Myer. Sorry if I sound a little tetchy readers, it's just that well, I was there the first time around, and nothing ages a girl like a disco revival.

Personal gripes aside however, I must admit that as a guest at the recent 'Three Weeks at Studio 54' launch in Melbourne I have to hand it to the department store (which, let's face it, traditionally boasts a middle ground kinda profile) for putting the 'tainment' into 'retailtainment'. Myer Melbourne's basement was transformed into a very convincing recreation of Studio 54 - the New York nightclub that dominated the party scene throughout the '70s and early '80s.

Kicking off proceedings, CEO Bernie Brookes addressed the assembled guests, dressed - a touch incongruously - as a New York cop. I don't know whether it was the three cosmopolitans I had just downed but at this point something in my cerebral melody cortex kicked in and I was assailed by a dizzying soundtrack. As I surveyed Bernie's NYPD getup I couldn't help but hear the rapid-fire high-pitched flourishes of Tragedy by the Bee Gees (Aaaah! "Fashion police" I get it. Boom boom! Thanks Bernie).

Meanwhile Myer chairman Bill Wavish went for a spivvy Scarface ensemble, a tad more in tune with the 54 vibe, which brought to mind Debbie Harry's Rush Rush. No sooner had the store's ambassador Jennifer Hawkins taken the stage, dressed in a sunny white Camilla & Marc affair, than my mental turntable changed again to ABBA's Summer Night City, quickly followed by the sugarcoated rinky-dink of Dancing Queen (I can't imagine why) as the delightful Carson Kressley made his appearance.

Amid the caged, afro wearing go-go dancers, naked cowboys and glittered flares was a serious purpose however. Myer is hoping to add $1 million in sales to each of its five CBD stores in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth, and is sparing no expense, with a budget of "several million" dollars.

The Studio 54 extravaganza has seen womenswear departments morph into Fifth Avenue and menswear into Wall Street, while no nod to Manhattan style would be complete without a Sex And The City angle (particularly given the imminent release of the SATC movie) so the show's now legendary costume designer Patricia Field has joined Carson Kressley on in-store appearances. The reason for all this sass? Brookes says Myer needs to lose its price driven image and adopt a more enticing, fun and daring one. A fabulous concept indeed.

But until I can roam a shop floor in search of assistance without hearing that other refrain (an anti-disco anthem if ever there was one) U2's I still haven't found what I'm looking for - I won't be burning up the dance floor in praise of Myer just yet.

By Kat Walker