Wattle he come up with next?
The McEldowney house of Porter has been one of unwavering patriotism in recent weeks. Unfortunately though it is not in support of the country of our birth.
After 36 long years as a fervent Kiwi follower, Scotttish-extracted Husband in Training (SHIT's) loyalty to his beloved silver fern has begun to waiver.
Clearly a broken man following New Zealand's loss in the cricket, rugby and netball world cups, the cracks first started appearing when we were at the supermarket and SHIT selected a Queensland banana over a kiwifruit grown in the Hawkes Bay.
The next act next sign of blatant naturalisation was when he started hinting at buying a house in Sydney. Under normal circumstances I would not question this. But when a man who refuses to take out citizenship in this country solely because he doesn't want his would-be All Black children speaking with an Aussie accent suddenly starts talking about laying down roots, it is a little disconcerting.
The ultimate act of betrayal, however, came when he issued instructions that I am must substitute my beloved Oyster Bay for some inferior South Australian alternative on the day I am supposed to officially become Mrs SHIT.
Of course Australian born-and-bred Dog could not be happier at this latest development.
Having realised at least one of his parents has turned to the dark side, Dog has also felt the need to prove his loyalty to his homeland by systematically hunting down and destroying all things he suspects may have originated on foreign soil. To date this has included several pairs of sheets, at least two chairs and the shoes of a couple of poor Chinese nationals who had the misfortune to pass by our front gate.
And it appears SHIT is not the only foreigner keen to get a slice of the Ocker action with a recent Futurebrand poll naming Australia as the leading 'Country brand' in the world.
Clearly Dublin-based department store Brown Thomas can see the attraction, having announced plans to showcase seven Australian labels in its stores. In claiming Australia was at an "exciting stage of new potential", the chain's group buyer labelled this sun burnt country "the next great untapped market for new looks".
The news out of Ireland coincides with the timely announcement that several international fashion luminaries have already - or will shortly - make their way to Sydney and Melbourne. The first of these arrived last week during Fashion Group International's 'Cutting Edge' global conference where the non-profit organisation played host to several high profile international guests including its own president Margaret Hayes from New York, Karolyn Wangstand of JC Penney and New York-based fashion designer Marisol Deluna, among others.
More are expected next March when Victoria will play host to the L'Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival. Those set to take top billing include the UK-based chair of the British Design Council Sir George Cox and his compatriot fashion retail Dana Thomas. The pair will be joined by US-based retail wunderkid Wendy Leibmann who along with iconic British designer Zandra Rhodes round off the impressive line-up.
Clearly for all but me, Australian fashion has ended 2007 on a high. Let's hope this prosperity continues.
As this is the last issue of Ragtrader for the year those in the McEldowney House of Porter would like to wish you and yours a very happy and safe Christmas break and we look forward to meeting you again in the New Year.
By Tracey McEldowney