Zarography

While the Zara pot continues to boil and bubble my unreliable source now tells me that the flagship store will open its doors in Australia in the second half of next year.

There's been some anguish over choosing a site in Melbourne, home town of Solly Lew and Lindsay Fox who are throwing in the seed money, although younger members of the Lew family will probably run it. I can't see Solly patrolling the fitting rooms and enquiring over the flimsy walls as to how things are going with the size 10 when the lady should really be trying on a 14.

Best bet for the opening location has now moved to the Katies store in Bourke Street, opposite Myer. This might suit Millers, which owns Katies, because the group is planning to downsize anyway.

There were sightings of Zara executives striding about Melbourne streets in June while, in LA, two young Zara Spaniards were overheard talking about a definite opening in Australia.

So based on this irrefutable evidence, there seems little doubt that it will happen, being one of those strange inevitabilities. Whether it brings success or not, Australia must do a Zara.

Apparently there has been some hot debate behind the shutters about how to handle the seasonal difference between the hemispheres at any given time in the year. The protectively thick gear delivered for winter in Europe is a little difficult to present in summer here. The usual solution has been to tag on to seasonal orders for the northern hemisphere and dawdle for six months before delivering the garments into Australia.

But Zara is going to go the other way. Being such a hair trigger observer of trends it has the capability to give Australia six months start. And maybe there will be some additional value in test marketing here to avoid the occasional dogs. Whatever the reason it will certainly add an edge of excitement to the Zara phenomenon.

Moreover, it will save our almost-designers heaps of money when they want to knock off Zara styles because they'll only have to go to Bourke Street. The more entrepreneurial will be able to buy in Zara and carry the samples across to Myer, change the labels in a quiet corner of the cosmetics department, and go upstairs to get an order.

Beware the flusset

By now you know that I have an uncommon interest in men's underpants, having bought 70 pairs once in a sale in India. To me, right underpants set up the day. Wrong underpants can spoil the best deals, cause incorrect decisions and affect sporting outcomes.

Having severely edited my Indian underpants collection because of failed elastic I was recently in the market for replenishments. Of course I went to my store Myer to see what was on offer. I finished up with some Bonds bland cotton briefs, prompted by a 50 per cent reduction because of a buying imbalance of clearly too much red. But my research into other styles led me to some important conclusions.

Now the subject becomes a little delicate, but in the interests of design I will press on. Too many styles have an opening in the front. It seems to fall midway between a fly and a gusset, so let's call it a flusset.

The flusset opening is often concealed, but in the shorts style gives itself away with a button which may or may not be functional. In theory, the opening is essential to a successful pee but in practice there are three other, larger openings (around legs and waist to be exact) which are much more accessible and practical for the task in hand, as it were.
This leaves the flusset not only of limited use, but highly likely to cause dislodgement and unplanned protrusion. The worst offenders, I must say, are among the best underpants brands. Some have a curved flusset which opens up like an earthquake.

In addition to the Bonds cheapies I also bought two pairs of Moschino pajama shorts - because this brand has seen the light. It has a pretend flusset, including the useless button for appearance but, for practicality, the front has no opening. Bravo! It works grandly for all occasions and could be worn as underpants.

Although the market has divided itself into flusset and non-flusset underpants, I wonder if the average bloke realises what the issues are. Too often underpants are bought by a third party like a wife or well meaning mother. These people have no understanding of flussetography and ought not be allowed to purchase unless they can present a signed document that they are acting in full knowledge of the future wearer.

In the meantime there ought to be some information advertising to inform men that they don't have to put up with annoying flussets.