Wannabe, moi?
The past little while has been an orgy of aspiration, starting with our very own fashion bash, the L'Oréal Melbourne Fashion Festival (LMFF) and topped off nicely with Oscar frenzy, both of which conspired to make me desirous of a whole new wardrobe and, frankly, a whole new life. These high tone events bring out the wannabe in all of us.
LMFF week started with me daringly brandishing credit card in order to attain effortless-looking yet sufficiently differentiated outfits for every show attended, which made me realise how cool it must be to be a movie star and get all that free gear foisted on you by top designers.
No such luck however - a frenzied bout of post-work shopping and I hopped on my moped, before finding myself being blown to the venue amid one of Melbourne's mini tornadoes. By the time I arrived my hair gave me the appearance of an animate toilet brush - although frankly a lot of the LMFF models were sporting similarly bizarre looking coifs.
That's where any resemblance ends however. Let's face it, one pair of rip-off Michael Kors wedges and a newly acquired and now mud-spattered dress doth not a fashion diva make. Nevertheless, outfit ordeal aside - by the end of the week I felt quite elated - all those throbbing soundtracks and gorgeous getups have a rejuvenating effect, or was it just the tube of L'Oréal collagen filler that I found in my show bag and have since been trowelling onto my visage like a seasoned bricky?
It's not all beer and skittles -- what's the fashion equivalent of that? - "smokes and stilettos"? -- for models though. Apart from the usual requirement of only eating on public holidays, they have ill fitting shoes to contend with; apparently that high-stepping, colt-like footwork is the result of having to wear shoes three sizes too large and often held in place with gaffer tape. And I hear one young model lost her cool during the opening session of LMFF,
:Stars and spikes
Life can be pretty arduous for movie stars and fashionistas at Oscar time too, particularly when deciding what to wear, and with Oscar fashion critics like Aussie designer Alex Perry loudly passing comment, female attendees had a right to be nervous. Aussie diva Nicole Kidman had had a white strapless number foisted her way by some bloke calling himself Balenciaga, causing Perry to add her to his best dressed list - Phew! -- while fashion designer Zandra Rhodes fared less well, with Perry describing her as "a total freak!" Pink hair, and "make-up applied with crayons" were listed among fashion crimes made worse by the fact that Rhodes herself is a fashion designer. Ah the price of fame! Maybe being a wannabe is more fun after all.