Fashion confusion

Okay that's it. I've seen it all now. Am still recovering from the northern hemisphere autumn/winter trends seminar of a well-known Global Style Network, where I learned that the pale grey leather blouson jacket with elasticated waistband is about to make a comeback in menswear. We've had "Geek Chic" but I think I'll have to coin a new term for this. "Disgusting" or "You have got to be kidding" sprang most readily to mind, however I've settled on "Slough chic",
As anyone familiar with the depressingly funny TV show The Office - set in the UK city immortalised by laureate John Betjeman's poem "Come friendly bombs and drop on Slough" - will know, the grey leather blouson is the battle dress of Slough male middle management. It's usually worn with a white polyester shirt and maroon nylon tie, and rarely removed except at the office Christmas party, while dancing non-rhythmically to '80s disco classics and embarrassing the receptionist with unwanted advances.
And now they're telling us it's high fashion. Good grief.

:Bad karma
I should have known that day was fateful. On that morning I had given three dollars to a fellow I met on the station on the way to work. It was the last three dollars in my wallet - I had just parted with a large part of my pay cheque for a 1950s silk frock - but he clearly needed it more than I did. He was talking very loudly - shouting actually - and only wearing one shoe...and some kind of leather blouson. I forgot the whole incident until later that morning, when I reached the counter at the café near work to pay for my daily fix and realised that semi-shod blouson station man was in possession of my coffee funds. I stalled the coffee matron in my most wheedling voice and ran off to the ATM - which announced that it was having an "ATM malfunction" a novel form of brush-off far preferable to the more usual "insufficient funds - please contact your bank".
It's fair to say I'd had a trying morning, but when the seminar spiel turned to batwing-sleeve tops, jersey dresses and plaid skirts making a comeback in womenswear I realised beyond doubt that the universe was against me.
Having spent the weekend "de-cluttering" my wardrobe - and depositing several bin bags containing batwing-sleeve tops, jersey dresses and plaid skirts with the Salvos - I was in no mood to be trifled with.
I'd fought this '80s revival thing for a long time - all those big belts and stripes remind me of the school disco (YESIAMTHATOLDDOYOUHAVEAPROBLEMWITHTHAT?) - but that day I gave up.
I thought I'd find consolation in the showbag, but all I got was novelty tampons and a pamphlet advertising personalised decluttering services.
But I won't be calling that number. Oh no. I'm going down to the Salvos this weekend to buy back all those mothballed items and redeem my what's left of my fashion cred. Sometimes I really do wonder...

To feed Kat your titbits email: ragtrader@yaffa.com.au