Mitch's stitches

My peculiar interest in men's underpants and my growing love for bamboo as a textile fibre have come together through a quirky stroke of fate.

After my recent praise for bamboo shirts made by Kingston Grange in Queensland, a pair of underpants from Mitch Dowd arrived on my desk.

These underpants, it transpired, were made from 66.5 per cent bamboo, 28.5 per cent cotton and five per cent Elastane. They had only recently arrived in store.

Now, before I get to fibres, I have to congratulate Mitch for excellent flusset design. The front of the briefs (there are several leg styles) have a neat bag for the goodies but no annoying space out through which the little person may peer uninvited.

The underpants come in various combinations of fibres which, Mitch claims, make the production of his underpants carbon neutral. The fabrics also appear in men's and women's sleepwear.

Environmental friendship pushes the underpants into the upper retail price bracket between $20 and $25. That's way above even the branded lines like Bonds, to say nothing of the faceless loss-leaders one might find at Lowes. They must, therefore, sell on quality and environmental euphoria. That's a big ask in this age of sub-surface indifference to carbon emissions and growing hysteria over price.

But selling they are, although not in the quantities they deserve. A big bouquet to the retailers who are giving it go. Mitch provides an attractive hang/sell display stand to help the cause but when I went to buy a pair of Tencel briefs the young sales assistant was more astonished than I was about these fibres. It turned out that he'd only started his holiday job the day before and was still grappling with the complexities of his tea break before tangling with product knowledge.

The quality of the underpants I have seen is good. My old friend bamboo just loves my skin while another combination of Tencel (a natural cellulosic fibre) and Elastane, also wants to be my intimate companion. Other fibres that I haven't tested include organic cotton, recycled Coke bottle (PET fibre) and, would you believe it, milk - to be released in April.

Selling this kind of miracle merchandise requires more than strong promotion and good stock display. It requires product knowledge and sales passion - and that requires teams of Mitch trained people. At that point the money just doesn't add up. And so we're left with the hope of publicity plus critical mass of purchasers.

Mahulla revisited

One of more notable company failures of last year was that of Sydney based upper middle market supplier, Monti. According to owner, Yuval French, everything was going along nicely when the dudes from St George Bank appeared and gave him 15 days to pay off his overdraft.

How often have we heard the story of the cruel, insensitive bank crushing a defenceless fashion company. In all cases the bank is cast in the role of villain.

I don't love banks and I have to acknowledge that they, in turn, don't love fashion companies. I do have to admit, however, that average fashion company bust pays a miserable dividend in the dollar - if anything at all - to the unsecured creditors. Even the preferential and secured creditors, such as wages, lenders and the tax department don't always get what's owing to them. Additionally, they must wait for a long time while the company's affairs are wound up before they receive anything.

We'll never know the reason why St George slew Monti, but I doubt it was done on a whim. Something spooked the bank, whether it was the dropping value of collateral property or sales figures or stock levels. But no bank, without good reason, walks in and demands an overdraft payout in 15 days - knowing it will bring the company down.

I'm not taking sides in the Monti case because I don't know the facts but it is a timely reminder that one must stay in continual touch with a lender to check on what will spook them into calling in overdrafts or loans. The other point to remember is that most loans or overdrafts come with quick repayment lurking in the small print. Anybody taking out a loan or overdraft should be aware they live with the continual threat of foreclosure and, rather than reward themselves with the fruits of a great season, they should keep the Holden and the modest house so they can pay something off the overdraft and aim to become self funding.

Cafe is a novel that hilariously lifts the lid on pyramid selling. Meet the people - you might be one of them - who get sucked in by a promise of working from home to get rich. A few do, but most lose friends and lose money.

Café is told by Ed Sharock, a burnt-out advertising copywriter who will lose his job unless he comes up with a winning brand for an American pet-food company. Although Ed is elated when he hits the jackpot, he is dismayed to find that the miraculous products are marketed only through pyramid selling - which he detests. Ed lets us into his quirky and highly inventive mind as he grapples with handling rejection, sexual preferences, loyalty and, finally, the demands of his conscience.

It is available online now at fraserbeathmcewing.com. Bookshops will begin to stock it from April 2009.