Katwalker: Sizing no longer a bummer

Despite the advances of science, the universe still holds many unanswered questions; like for example, who invented waterbeds and what drugs were they on? Why do salmon have to have quite such taxing mating habits (all that leaping upstream for hundreds of kilometres) when humans are capable of perpetuating the species after no more effort than it takes to drink too much beer? Or indeed, why does the female human posterior look huge in one pair of pants and hot in another? Well, the secrets of this latter mystery may at last be revealed due to the efforts of Heriot-Watt University. The prestigious Scottish - ahem - seat of learning has launched the world's first study on how cut and fabric pattern affects the bottom line, or, in other words, the perception of "largesse de derriere" - franglish for "huge arse". Female volunteers - who must be commended for their courage - will have their rears photographed for the research. Like those astronauts in the 1960s who forged humankind's first path into space, these women are making history for venturing deep into one of the greatest questions known to womankind... "Does my bum look big in this?"

:Munchkins in Oz
Not a question that could reasonably be posed by those teeny tiny twin celebs that comprise the multi-million dollar franchise known as Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, although as trash mag junkies everywhere will know, their uber-smallness has not protected them from that stalker of female stars everywhere - Mr. Eating Disorder. The diminutive US duo was in Sydney earlier this month [February] to launch an apparel and accessories label, mary-kateandashley, now available exclusively in BIG W stores nationwide. All this in spite of the efforts of a renowned Hollywood watcher and self appointed style critic - known only as Mr Blackwell - who recently slammed Mary-Kate for dressing in "bag lady rags".

:Tearing a strip off fashion
Word has it that if you press a button located on the backs of the Olsen twins the hair on their heads actually grows (they also cry real tears and can dance sing, laugh and spout their life philosophy at the touch of a button), although I'm not sure the current models are programmed to cope with hair on other parts of their bodies. Anyhow the Australian tween market looks set to be whipped into a frenzy of dubious TV, fashion, and body image without the help of the Olsens, thanks to the Australian launch of US reality TV show Project Runway. The show - which gives emerging designers a chance to have their work showcased to the global fashion community - has named hair removal brand Hot Legs as its major sponsor. Anything goes, I guess, though I shudder to think what the goody bags for the studio audience will contain.