Editor's Note: From the outside still looking in

I have a confession to make. I am tall, I am fit, I am healthy, I am young (ish) and I am not a size six nor an eight. While I occasionally like to kid myself, the truth of the matter is even a 10, 12 or, err, 14 may – depending on the label – be pushing it.

And it has taken me until now, in my second-to-last issue as editor, to get over my mortification of discussing it publicly.

So there you have it, my dirty little secret and the one that will prevent me from ever feeling truly at ease in the industry in which I write about and that will inevitably knock my confidence at every turn.

When I look in the mirror I don’t see myself as fat, overweight, or any of those other labels many in the apparel design sector like to define me as. The honest truth is that in a funny way I don’t see myself as anything out of the ordinary. And I’d much prefer if you didn’t either.

There are parts of me I love, and like everyone parts I also hate. But while I’m not going to share my worst foibles, I have no qualms informing you I think the vast majority of you are missing out on one hell of an opportunity with consumers such as myself.

For instance, I wear a size 12 bra with an E size cup. That gives me great boobs. The type of mammaries that blow those skinny girls with their chicken fillets clear of the water.

I also have pretty impressive curves – of the variety that attract a lot of attention and can make the right garment look truly breath-taking.

I have money too. Admittedly not as much as I would like but enough to ensure I can go out shopping every weekend and still pay cash. I’m not a tight arse either and do not shy away from  spending upwards of $500 for that special something, assuming of course I can find it. And without children or the crippling effects of a Sydney mortgage, I like to spend.

I also like to talk. And being exposed to numerous sporting and social clubs, let alone the natural poster child for social networking sites, like to pass on the good news when I find a brand that fulfils my needs or makes me feel special.

Yet despite having all these things in my favour, and working in a role where I am exposed to literally thousands of apparel brands every day, I still struggle to find clothes that allow me to be me.
And rightly or wrongly, much of our self-esteem as women is tied up with our physical appearance.

I don’t want to be forced to wear too tight dresses or pants that amplify my bad bits and hide my good. Nor do I want to wear garish shapeless garments that age me 40 years because they’re designed by small designers who think that is how us “big girls” prefer to dress. I know I’m not alone in this. Perhaps that is that what saddens me most.